Cora's "Gotcha Day"

Ella has thought a lot about being a big sister. Here is Ella's message to Cora on her "Gotcha Day" 12/9/2011.

Introducing Cora Kalyn

This has been an amazing process.Our family has seen God's provision in so many ways through this journey. Many of our friends have come alongside us and helped us get to this day. I am honestly speechless. We are so in love. Without further ado...

Cora Kalyn Emhoff
born 11/9/11 and welcomed home 12/9/11

We Exceeded Our Goal

Wow! Thank all of you who sponsored puzzle pieces! We are so humbled by the incredible response to our fundraising efforts. Thank you for everyone who emailed, wrote kind notes, donated and prayed for us. We raised a total of $6535 toward the cost of our adoption! What an amazing group of friends and family we have. We couldn't be more amazed by the generosity people have show to our family. Thank you more than we can express. We are making plans to assist other adoptive families financially in the future. Stay tuned for more information on that in the coming months!

"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory." Ephesians 3:20-21

When Joy Is Hard to Find

So after spending a month writing and thinking about gratitude and working to live out of a more grateful heart, you would think I would be ready to think about Joy.

Think again.

While I have absolutely no reason to be irritable or discontent, I have found over the last several days that my mood has soured and I am incredibly "un-joyful". I'm frustrated that Little E seems to have forgotten how to obey. I'm frustrated by things that are out of my control at work. I am irritated that clutter seems to invade my house when I am already feeling maxed out.

However, it seems that the biggest threat to Joy in my life is my preoccupation with myself. I am most often joyless when I am focused on what will make my life easier or pleasurable.

John Ortberg says, "True joy, as it turns out, comes only to those who have devoted their lives to something greater than personal happiness." He goes on to say, "If we don't rejoice today, we will not rejoice at all. If we wait until conditions are perfect, we will still be waiting when we die." That is me to a T.
For so long I have told myself (consciously and unconsciously) that when my house is updated, when I have an advanced degree, when our adoption is finalized, when I have a prestigious job, when we have more money or when I finally become the person I want to be, then and only then, I will be happy and be joyful. Perhaps I don't say those things but all too often my actions reflect these whispers of my heart.

So I'm starting to think Joy is a choice. And a tough one that seems to take some practice. One that frankly, I haven't felt like making lately. So here's to practice!

Today, despite how I feel, I'm choosing Joy. I'm going to start by eating the 5 remaining Thin Mint cookies in my cupboard and conquering my to-do list for work. I am ignoring (for the moment) the state of clutter in my house and the clothes that need to get to the dry cleaners. I will pick up Little E from pre-school today with a smile on my face and genuinely appreciate her constant chatter in the car. Things aren't perfect (and really they never will be) so today I'm choosing Joy.

Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving we are celebrating with Seth's family. Every year since we have been married I have cooked the whole Thanksgiving meal but for some reason this year, I just couldn't get up the motivation. So, we invited ourselves to NY to spend time with family. (Don't you love in-laws like that?)

Over the last few weeks/months, I have been thinking a lot about gratitude and living out of a spirit of contentment. It's so easy to fall into a place where desires slowly (or quickly in some cases) become "needs". It's so easy to blame consumerism, Black Friday and the retailers that entice us with their wares, but those things only play into the deeper issues that take up residence in our hearts. Please don't get me wrong, giving gifts is wonderful and I think when it is done well is an incredible blessing. But why do we buy? Is it because of how it makes us feel? What it says about us or our ability to buy? Is it just because we can't help ourselves?
I am as vulnerable as the next person. I see commercials for an ipad or a new car and for a split second, I can't help but picture myself and how fun it would be to have more. I look at the ads for clothing and think how much better I would feel about myself if I dressed like that. But those desires only speak to my insecurities and don't add any value to my life. I read this quote recently and it has been in my mind quite a bit over the last several days.


"We don't need to increase our goods nearly as much as we need to scale down our wants. Not wanting something is as good as possessing it."

Wow, training myself to not want something can be as fulfilling as not possessing it? I'm not sure this applies to everything, but I think replacing the object of my desire with something more fulfilling certainly increases my contentment with what I already have.

So as an act of discipline, I am making an effort to make the holidays about something else. I read a blog recently where the blogger said she is striving to "Do Less, Be More" and make the holidays about presence over presents. I like that idea. It's something I want to start as a tradition in our family.
So as a first stab at this, we delivered meals to elderly people on Wednesday. It didn't take much time and I would love to have done something more but it was a good start. I also want to make it a goal to do acts of service like this all through the year, not just during the holidays.
I have to admit, we had so much fun delivering the meals. We took our niece and nephew with us along with Little E. They had so much fun carrying the meals to the front doors and we delivered 15 meals. It was a small gesture but many of the people were so happy to see little ones delivering their dinner that day. I loved seeing my 3 year old giving of herself, even if she didn't know it.

So as we now officially enter the Christmas season, I am thinking about joy and what it means to rejoice. To me, living a life of gratitude is at the heart of joy.

"Who is rich? He that rejoices in his portion."-Benjamin Franklin


Happy Thanksgiving!

A Woven Thread

As this adoption process has taken its course, I have been surprised by the reactions we have gotten from people. The reactions have been all across the board. From outright joy, guarded optimism to negative reactions. One of the most encouraging thing about this process is how many people we have come in contact with because of the process. We have made new friends as we seek out parents who have walked this road. We have been reaching out to people we never would have otherwise in an effort to gain as much insight and firsthand knowledge we can. Our lives have been enriched through through the process alone.

In an effort to get some baby items that we do not have, Megan posted a listing on Freecycle (think Craigslist but free). We have given a lot of our unwanted items away via Freecycle. Well Megan asked if people had certain items and many strangers responded generously with many different items. One went as far to read this blog and email Megan. She told Megan how encouraged she was by the blog and how it touched her. This is a woman we would have never come in contact with. That is just one example, there are many more.

The other night Megan and I were listening to a Tim Keller message on Justice. He made an illustration about our lives being one thread of fabric-- woven, interlacing, touching hundreds of other threads. When woven properly all the threads create a strong fabric. Many of my friends and I email on many different "threads" about sports, life and many other topics. It has been amazing for Megan and I to see these threads of ours, the people we have woven our lives with, come to our aid. With financial help, with uplifting spirits and encouragement in so many ways. We might not see or talk to these friends as often as we would like but these threads have been woven tightly and that has been evident. Megan and I do not have our parents or many extended family members in our area. We rely on our friends to be our family.

Our lives and the fabric Megan and I are weaving will forever be altered by an adoption. Many things can stand in your way, scare you off, yet we have endured. We know we have friends close and family afar that will help and support us. That is an encouraging thought. We have met strangers and renewed our bonds with old friends through this process which has been an incredible blessing during a time that could be filled with anxiety or worry.

So we wait, patiently and expectantly.

-Seth

Signs You Know Your 3 Year Old Needs A Sibling

So dear little E is very interested in the adoption and asks a lot of questions. Everyone in our family must have babies on the mind lately, her included. Just a few of the funny things she has said over the last week:

E: "Mommy, where does a baby come from?"
me: "Hmm, where do YOU think a baby comes from?"
E: "I think it comes from the mailbox."

I didn't have a better answer that day.

After telling her our friends are expecting, her face lit up and she said:
"Yay! I am so glad we get to adopt their baby!" We did have to clarify to her that wasn't exactly how it works.

And my favorite interchange between little E and her friend while they both stood admiring his new little brother:

Little E: "He's so cute!"
friend: "Don't touch him. That's MY brother!"
Little E: "Well I have a baby sister!"
friend: "No you don't!"
Little E: (getting very defensive)"Yes I do! You just can't see her because she just lives in somebody else's tummy!"


I love that she already defends a sibling she hasn't even met yet.