So after spending a month writing and thinking about gratitude and working to live out of a more grateful heart, you would think I would be ready to think about Joy.
Think again.
While I have absolutely no reason to be irritable or discontent, I have found over the last several days that my mood has soured and I am incredibly "un-joyful". I'm frustrated that Little E seems to have forgotten how to obey. I'm frustrated by things that are out of my control at work. I am irritated that clutter seems to invade my house when I am already feeling maxed out.
However, it seems that the biggest threat to Joy in my life is my preoccupation with myself. I am most often joyless when I am focused on what will make my life easier or pleasurable.
John Ortberg says, "True joy, as it turns out, comes only to those who have devoted their lives to something greater than personal happiness." He goes on to say, "If we don't rejoice today, we will not rejoice at all. If we wait until conditions are perfect, we will still be waiting when we die." That is me to a T.
For so long I have told myself (consciously and unconsciously) that when my house is updated, when I have an advanced degree, when our adoption is finalized, when I have a prestigious job, when we have more money or when I finally become the person I want to be, then and only then, I will be happy and be joyful. Perhaps I don't say those things but all too often my actions reflect these whispers of my heart.
So I'm starting to think Joy is a choice. And a tough one that seems to take some practice. One that frankly, I haven't felt like making lately. So here's to practice!
Today, despite how I feel, I'm choosing Joy. I'm going to start by eating the 5 remaining Thin Mint cookies in my cupboard and conquering my to-do list for work. I am ignoring (for the moment) the state of clutter in my house and the clothes that need to get to the dry cleaners. I will pick up Little E from pre-school today with a smile on my face and genuinely appreciate her constant chatter in the car. Things aren't perfect (and really they never will be) so today I'm choosing Joy.
Showing posts with label Joy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joy. Show all posts
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Thanksgiving
This Thanksgiving we are celebrating with Seth's family. Every year since we have been married I have cooked the whole Thanksgiving meal but for some reason this year, I just couldn't get up the motivation. So, we invited ourselves to NY to spend time with family. (Don't you love in-laws like that?)
Over the last few weeks/months, I have been thinking a lot about gratitude and living out of a spirit of contentment. It's so easy to fall into a place where desires slowly (or quickly in some cases) become "needs". It's so easy to blame consumerism, Black Friday and the retailers that entice us with their wares, but those things only play into the deeper issues that take up residence in our hearts. Please don't get me wrong, giving gifts is wonderful and I think when it is done well is an incredible blessing. But why do we buy? Is it because of how it makes us feel? What it says about us or our ability to buy? Is it just because we can't help ourselves?
I am as vulnerable as the next person. I see commercials for an ipad or a new car and for a split second, I can't help but picture myself and how fun it would be to have more. I look at the ads for clothing and think how much better I would feel about myself if I dressed like that. But those desires only speak to my insecurities and don't add any value to my life. I read this quote recently and it has been in my mind quite a bit over the last several days.
"We don't need to increase our goods nearly as much as we need to scale down our wants. Not wanting something is as good as possessing it."
Wow, training myself to not want something can be as fulfilling as not possessing it? I'm not sure this applies to everything, but I think replacing the object of my desire with something more fulfilling certainly increases my contentment with what I already have.
So as an act of discipline, I am making an effort to make the holidays about something else. I read a blog recently where the blogger said she is striving to "Do Less, Be More" and make the holidays about presence over presents. I like that idea. It's something I want to start as a tradition in our family.
So as a first stab at this, we delivered meals to elderly people on Wednesday. It didn't take much time and I would love to have done something more but it was a good start. I also want to make it a goal to do acts of service like this all through the year, not just during the holidays.
I have to admit, we had so much fun delivering the meals. We took our niece and nephew with us along with Little E. They had so much fun carrying the meals to the front doors and we delivered 15 meals. It was a small gesture but many of the people were so happy to see little ones delivering their dinner that day. I loved seeing my 3 year old giving of herself, even if she didn't know it.
So as we now officially enter the Christmas season, I am thinking about joy and what it means to rejoice. To me, living a life of gratitude is at the heart of joy.
"Who is rich? He that rejoices in his portion."-Benjamin Franklin
Happy Thanksgiving!
Over the last few weeks/months, I have been thinking a lot about gratitude and living out of a spirit of contentment. It's so easy to fall into a place where desires slowly (or quickly in some cases) become "needs". It's so easy to blame consumerism, Black Friday and the retailers that entice us with their wares, but those things only play into the deeper issues that take up residence in our hearts. Please don't get me wrong, giving gifts is wonderful and I think when it is done well is an incredible blessing. But why do we buy? Is it because of how it makes us feel? What it says about us or our ability to buy? Is it just because we can't help ourselves?
I am as vulnerable as the next person. I see commercials for an ipad or a new car and for a split second, I can't help but picture myself and how fun it would be to have more. I look at the ads for clothing and think how much better I would feel about myself if I dressed like that. But those desires only speak to my insecurities and don't add any value to my life. I read this quote recently and it has been in my mind quite a bit over the last several days.
"We don't need to increase our goods nearly as much as we need to scale down our wants. Not wanting something is as good as possessing it."
Wow, training myself to not want something can be as fulfilling as not possessing it? I'm not sure this applies to everything, but I think replacing the object of my desire with something more fulfilling certainly increases my contentment with what I already have.
So as an act of discipline, I am making an effort to make the holidays about something else. I read a blog recently where the blogger said she is striving to "Do Less, Be More" and make the holidays about presence over presents. I like that idea. It's something I want to start as a tradition in our family.
So as a first stab at this, we delivered meals to elderly people on Wednesday. It didn't take much time and I would love to have done something more but it was a good start. I also want to make it a goal to do acts of service like this all through the year, not just during the holidays.
I have to admit, we had so much fun delivering the meals. We took our niece and nephew with us along with Little E. They had so much fun carrying the meals to the front doors and we delivered 15 meals. It was a small gesture but many of the people were so happy to see little ones delivering their dinner that day. I loved seeing my 3 year old giving of herself, even if she didn't know it.
So as we now officially enter the Christmas season, I am thinking about joy and what it means to rejoice. To me, living a life of gratitude is at the heart of joy.
"Who is rich? He that rejoices in his portion."-Benjamin Franklin
Happy Thanksgiving!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
When you struggle to feel grateful
It's been a crazy week for us. Between the rain, a fractured tailbone and a sick 3 year old, my temper has reared it's persistent and ugly head and patience is in short supply around our house.
Last night, I just lost it. I was feeling sorry for myself and very stressed. Little E was crying and I realized just how contagious my attitude is. And I realized, self-pity is probably the biggest obstacle to fully living a life of gratitude.
So today, I am thinking about joy and what it means to rejoice. Despite how I feel.
There's a hymn written in 1882 by a guy named George Matheson. It's been redone by several people in the past several years but despite the antiquated language in the hymn, I think the words are incredibly powerful. The 3rd verse is rolling around my head again and again. "Oh Joy that seekest me through pain, I cannot close my heart to thee."
If I could sum up the adoption process and my heart over the last year, that would cover it. Those 14 words would cover the Hope that is present despite the many dark nights. The Joy that pursues despite my despair.
O Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.
O light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.
O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.
O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.
Last night, I just lost it. I was feeling sorry for myself and very stressed. Little E was crying and I realized just how contagious my attitude is. And I realized, self-pity is probably the biggest obstacle to fully living a life of gratitude.
So today, I am thinking about joy and what it means to rejoice. Despite how I feel.
There's a hymn written in 1882 by a guy named George Matheson. It's been redone by several people in the past several years but despite the antiquated language in the hymn, I think the words are incredibly powerful. The 3rd verse is rolling around my head again and again. "Oh Joy that seekest me through pain, I cannot close my heart to thee."
If I could sum up the adoption process and my heart over the last year, that would cover it. Those 14 words would cover the Hope that is present despite the many dark nights. The Joy that pursues despite my despair.
O Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.
O light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.
O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.
O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.
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