This Thanksgiving we are celebrating with Seth's family. Every year since we have been married I have cooked the whole Thanksgiving meal but for some reason this year, I just couldn't get up the motivation. So, we invited ourselves to NY to spend time with family. (Don't you love in-laws like that?)
Over the last few weeks/months, I have been thinking a lot about gratitude and living out of a spirit of contentment. It's so easy to fall into a place where desires slowly (or quickly in some cases) become "needs". It's so easy to blame consumerism, Black Friday and the retailers that entice us with their wares, but those things only play into the deeper issues that take up residence in our hearts. Please don't get me wrong, giving gifts is wonderful and I think when it is done well is an incredible blessing. But why do we buy? Is it because of how it makes us feel? What it says about us or our ability to buy? Is it just because we can't help ourselves?
I am as vulnerable as the next person. I see commercials for an ipad or a new car and for a split second, I can't help but picture myself and how fun it would be to have more. I look at the ads for clothing and think how much better I would feel about myself if I dressed like that. But those desires only speak to my insecurities and don't add any value to my life. I read this quote recently and it has been in my mind quite a bit over the last several days.
"We don't need to increase our goods nearly as much as we need to scale down our wants. Not wanting something is as good as possessing it."
Wow, training myself to not want something can be as fulfilling as not possessing it? I'm not sure this applies to everything, but I think replacing the object of my desire with something more fulfilling certainly increases my contentment with what I already have.
So as an act of discipline, I am making an effort to make the holidays about something else. I read a blog recently where the blogger said she is striving to "Do Less, Be More" and make the holidays about presence over presents. I like that idea. It's something I want to start as a tradition in our family.
So as a first stab at this, we delivered meals to elderly people on Wednesday. It didn't take much time and I would love to have done something more but it was a good start. I also want to make it a goal to do acts of service like this all through the year, not just during the holidays.
I have to admit, we had so much fun delivering the meals. We took our niece and nephew with us along with Little E. They had so much fun carrying the meals to the front doors and we delivered 15 meals. It was a small gesture but many of the people were so happy to see little ones delivering their dinner that day. I loved seeing my 3 year old giving of herself, even if she didn't know it.
So as we now officially enter the Christmas season, I am thinking about joy and what it means to rejoice. To me, living a life of gratitude is at the heart of joy.
"Who is rich? He that rejoices in his portion."-Benjamin Franklin
Happy Thanksgiving!
Showing posts with label Gratitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gratitude. Show all posts
Friday, November 25, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
When you struggle to feel grateful
It's been a crazy week for us. Between the rain, a fractured tailbone and a sick 3 year old, my temper has reared it's persistent and ugly head and patience is in short supply around our house.
Last night, I just lost it. I was feeling sorry for myself and very stressed. Little E was crying and I realized just how contagious my attitude is. And I realized, self-pity is probably the biggest obstacle to fully living a life of gratitude.
So today, I am thinking about joy and what it means to rejoice. Despite how I feel.
There's a hymn written in 1882 by a guy named George Matheson. It's been redone by several people in the past several years but despite the antiquated language in the hymn, I think the words are incredibly powerful. The 3rd verse is rolling around my head again and again. "Oh Joy that seekest me through pain, I cannot close my heart to thee."
If I could sum up the adoption process and my heart over the last year, that would cover it. Those 14 words would cover the Hope that is present despite the many dark nights. The Joy that pursues despite my despair.
O Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.
O light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.
O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.
O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.
Last night, I just lost it. I was feeling sorry for myself and very stressed. Little E was crying and I realized just how contagious my attitude is. And I realized, self-pity is probably the biggest obstacle to fully living a life of gratitude.
So today, I am thinking about joy and what it means to rejoice. Despite how I feel.
There's a hymn written in 1882 by a guy named George Matheson. It's been redone by several people in the past several years but despite the antiquated language in the hymn, I think the words are incredibly powerful. The 3rd verse is rolling around my head again and again. "Oh Joy that seekest me through pain, I cannot close my heart to thee."
If I could sum up the adoption process and my heart over the last year, that would cover it. Those 14 words would cover the Hope that is present despite the many dark nights. The Joy that pursues despite my despair.
O Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.
O light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.
O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.
O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.
Monday, November 7, 2011
On Being Grateful
The goal for writing about gratitude was to simply cultivate a greater understanding of what it means to have a grateful heart.
Until recently, I'm not sure I knew exactly what it really meant to be grateful. Don't get me wrong, I've felt deep appreciation and sincere thanks but nothing like this. This has brought me to my knees in tears. Literally left speechless (and if you know me, that's quite an accomplishment).
My cup overflows.
It's not just the financial support we have received for the adoption, it is more than that. It's realizing that after a year that has shattered my sense of self and balance, that has made me question my sanity and ability to survive, after all of that, there is a story. And as I shakily try to put together the pieces of that story and create a new one, people reach out. They respond. And pray. And encourage. What an incredible gift that is.
"Thank you" doesn't even begin to cover it.
Until recently, I'm not sure I knew exactly what it really meant to be grateful. Don't get me wrong, I've felt deep appreciation and sincere thanks but nothing like this. This has brought me to my knees in tears. Literally left speechless (and if you know me, that's quite an accomplishment).
My cup overflows.
It's not just the financial support we have received for the adoption, it is more than that. It's realizing that after a year that has shattered my sense of self and balance, that has made me question my sanity and ability to survive, after all of that, there is a story. And as I shakily try to put together the pieces of that story and create a new one, people reach out. They respond. And pray. And encourage. What an incredible gift that is.
"Thank you" doesn't even begin to cover it.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
On Being Grateful For Waiting
After my previous post on waiting, the proverbial light bulb went on above my head and I realized I was missing an opportunity.
As a product of the '80s, I am not used to waiting. I live in a world that rarely waits for anything! I microwave my food, I can drive anywhere I want to go, and I have most of my desires met without much waiting. However, during this time of waiting, I find myself striving vigorously to make good use of this time. I could be knitting baby hats, training for a marathon or refinishing antique furniture while I wait. I may do some of that (not the knitting) but my main goal during this time is growth. It can take an extreme amount of discipline and contemplation to wait for something while knowing ultimately, you may never see it happen. However, to view waiting as passivity is a missed opportunity.
I heard one writer put it this way, "I had tended to view waiting as mere passivity. When I looked it up in my dictionary however, I found that the words passive and passion come from the same Latin root, pati, which means 'to endure.' Waiting is thus both passive and passionate. It's a vibrant, contemplative work. It means descending into self, into God, into the deeper labyrinths of prayer. It involves listening to disinherited voices within, facing the wounded holes in the soul, the denied and undiscovered, the places one lives falsely. It means struggling with the vision of who we really are in God and molding the courage to live that vision."
I don't know anything about the writer, but she got that part right. It is vibrant, contemplative work. And it's also hard work. However, it is not a trial to be overcome or simply bear. Waiting, if made useful, can be an intentional time of mental and spiritual discipline. Thus, I am grateful for the wait.
-Megan
As a product of the '80s, I am not used to waiting. I live in a world that rarely waits for anything! I microwave my food, I can drive anywhere I want to go, and I have most of my desires met without much waiting. However, during this time of waiting, I find myself striving vigorously to make good use of this time. I could be knitting baby hats, training for a marathon or refinishing antique furniture while I wait. I may do some of that (not the knitting) but my main goal during this time is growth. It can take an extreme amount of discipline and contemplation to wait for something while knowing ultimately, you may never see it happen. However, to view waiting as passivity is a missed opportunity.
I heard one writer put it this way, "I had tended to view waiting as mere passivity. When I looked it up in my dictionary however, I found that the words passive and passion come from the same Latin root, pati, which means 'to endure.' Waiting is thus both passive and passionate. It's a vibrant, contemplative work. It means descending into self, into God, into the deeper labyrinths of prayer. It involves listening to disinherited voices within, facing the wounded holes in the soul, the denied and undiscovered, the places one lives falsely. It means struggling with the vision of who we really are in God and molding the courage to live that vision."
I don't know anything about the writer, but she got that part right. It is vibrant, contemplative work. And it's also hard work. However, it is not a trial to be overcome or simply bear. Waiting, if made useful, can be an intentional time of mental and spiritual discipline. Thus, I am grateful for the wait.
-Megan
Thursday, November 3, 2011
On Being Grateful For Loss
November is home to Thanksgiving as well as being National Adoption Month. In the spirit of what this month means, I am starting a new series on being grateful. As C.S. Lewis said, "We ought to give thanks for all fortune: if it is 'good' because it is good, if 'bad' because it works in us patience, humility and the contempt of this world and the hope of our eternal country."
Today my goal is to muster up the courage to say something difficult and truly mean it.
I am grateful for loss.
I am grateful for the razor-edged and searing experience of loss that shook me to my core. For an experience so profound that it has claimed pieces of my heart. I am grateful for loss because it makes what I had that much sweeter. While I am not grateful that my sister died, I am grateful for the changes the loss has produced. And that's hard to admit.
Lewis said in The Problem of Pain, "Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf word."
While her loss is so incredibly painful still, I am so grateful to have had a sister. And part of having her was also losing her.
-Megan
Today my goal is to muster up the courage to say something difficult and truly mean it.
I am grateful for loss.
I am grateful for the razor-edged and searing experience of loss that shook me to my core. For an experience so profound that it has claimed pieces of my heart. I am grateful for loss because it makes what I had that much sweeter. While I am not grateful that my sister died, I am grateful for the changes the loss has produced. And that's hard to admit.
Lewis said in The Problem of Pain, "Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf word."
While her loss is so incredibly painful still, I am so grateful to have had a sister. And part of having her was also losing her.
-Megan
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