Monday, April 9, 2012

So it's been 4 months...

First of all let me say, how do people shower exercise think have intelligent conversation blog with a newborn baby in their house? I've never figured that out!

Now that I've got that off my chest...
We've been home 4 months and I'm just now starting to feel like we have our feet on solid ground again. To say that bringing Cora home threw us for a loop would be a major understatement. No matter how prepared you think you are, having two kids is a major adjustment! That being said, things seem to finally be normalizing and we are starting to enjoy Cora more and more. We aren't sleeping much at night (still) but I think we're making progress and that's what counts at this point.

The adjustment to bringing Cora home has been made more difficult by an abbreviated maternity leave (8 weeks instead of the 12 I had scheduled). Now that I am fully back to work and we have more of a routine we are starting to feel more and more like family.

I am the first to admit it was not an instantaneous event. I wasn't entirely connected with Ella at birth either, but the bonding with Cora has happened slower than I would have liked. I have often felt frustrated by this since I always (naively) assumed that because I am adopted I would bond with an adopted child perfectly and immediately. Not so. I am also realizing that bonding is a "two steps forward, 3 steps back" sort of process and "feeling" bonded isn't always the best measuring stick by which I should define how well we are doing.

So, in short, we are now over the biggest hurdle of adjusting to Cora being home and are finally seeing the fruits of our proverbial "labor" with Cora. She is an incredible little girl and we love seeing her personality develop. We are truly blessed and despite how difficult the last few months have been, it has mostly been that way because of my attitude and my own selfishness. I have realized things are slowly improving at the same rate I am letting go of my unrealistic expectations and showing myself more grace. We are truly blessed and feeling more prepared for the days ahead.

And I figured it might be time for an updated picture! Here's our little lady in her Easter dress.

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